Basic Truths About 24's Jack Bauer

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and
he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken,
but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next
half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.


Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right
now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack
Bauer.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists.
Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him
finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was
shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real
fact.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer
says something then you better do it.

Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance
Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.
When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second
favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4
times. What the hell have you done with your life?

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less
than an hour. And he's done it twice.

Jack Bauer killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA
Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who
downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.

What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not
bleed.

Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a
bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is
stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're f***ing dead."

Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.

Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman
for having a weakness.

When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.

It took Jack Bauer two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ.

If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

The bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads, "WWJBD?"

Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave
up the location of the egg.

After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack Bauer, Tom
Cruise admitted that he was gay.

Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a
child. Once.

PSP v2.0

ok, you heard it here first, when i originally told you about the samsung NAND flash drive working with the PSP, well today i have heard that during the secong half of this year, sony are releasing the PSP one more time, but this time, with the built in 8gb flash drive built internally!!!!!

Although my understanding is the UMD will still be implemented untill the release of the PSP2 in a few years, although i personally may have to swap my PSP as soon as this beast is released!

This all proves how hard sony need this device to survive the onslaught promised by microsoft and apple. really pushing the media portion of the PSP is a bad idea in my view though, to prove its worth, we need some seriously high quality games and then people will buy the machine which has become another icon of our age. peace

UMD..... sony's final joke

hey, just a quick post to let you all know i have been seeing rumours basically send UMD to the grave, first of all, UMD movie production is being slowed by film studios, basically because of terrible sales, obviously this was going to happen, jusy for the pure fact, "why pay when i can download to my memory stick?" and it is a very good point!

another reason for this post is something our friends at samsung have been saying. Samsung have been developing a flash memory system designed specifically for the PSP, and samsung have also told that the PSP2 wont be implementing UMD disks, but will use their own flash memory as a hard disk device

well, i say that rules out any backward compatability arguements! Peace

Microsoft wants to hurt sony..... real bad

well, i have been scanning the web today, and guess what i just happened to find on my travels! Microsoft really are looking for worldwide domination, and to be honest, i really wouldnt bet against them anymore!

The latest rumours are that the are going to be releasing a portable media device, and are basically looking to dethrown apple and sony in one swift backhand to the left side of the face! techie geeks are already calling it the Xpod, which is a bit silly, but hey, this is just what im getting here.

From what i hear (read) microsoft are going to be developing a machine on the style of the psp, in essence, full media capabilities! Games, Movies, Video..... and you can almost promise the fact they will implement all of the latest technology, far more advanced than any competators devices! and after the cosmetic piss up that was the original xbox, you can also promise the fact that if this machine ever does see the light of day, it will be a style icon, such as the psp or ipod have become

All microsoft need is to develope a real system to rival itunes, and the game is theirs, it is becoming aparent that M$ wants a peice of every pie, and i cant wait for this bit of kit to hit the shelves, if it ever does! peace

Final Fantasy coming home.....

People, this is a great moment for all the games, movies or CGI men and women out there! finally, after what seems like years of waiting, a release date has finally been agreed upon! what i am talking about is Final Fantasy IIV: Advent children. yes i know i have already spoken of this almost legendary film, but now, you are gonna be able to bring it all home, and actually understand whats being said!

Obviously this is a tremendous thing to happen, the date of the second coming has been released, and it is.........

25th April 2006

Sony are releasing the film in a two disc special edition, with bonus features such as; deleted scenes, "making of", and previews to up coming FF games! Ok, this is something to sing and dance about all by itself, but as with all FF ventures, it has been veiwable on the latest sony consoles, well this day shall be no different, there is going to be a full UMD release of the film, which will be stunning visually as we all very well know..... i dont know about you but im counting the munites till my eyes eplode. Peace

MS vista: Conned!

ok, so we all know the new operating system from M$ is on way, and from what we here, it is going with the general microsoft formula of not really changing anything drastic, and keeping with the safety. But why oh why are m$ pushing it so much? it has just come to my attention that microsoft are launching HALO 2 on the PC, but on one OS only "windows vista"! why is this, considering the power that xp can generate, and have proved with various games, and the hardware is readily avaliable to make the game work! loomat HALF LIFE 2 for example, probably one of the greatest and most advanced pc games of our time, and it runs fine on windows XP, leading me to believe that m$ are trying to milk this OS for all it is worth, actually makes me vomit over my shoes! peace!

The fastest, The smoothest, The best

ok, i know this is probably old news to all the pro's reading this but please, it still deserves merit on this page! What i am talking about is the most anticipated CGI movie, i believe, ever created! FINAL FANTASY IIV: ADVENT CHILDREN! If anyone has seen the trailer, or even the japanese version of this movie, will understand exactly what im talking about. When i first gazed upon this ultimate thing of beauty, i knew, there and then, it would be an instant classic, it is everything the original final fantasy movie was supposed to be and much much more. first off, the visuals are stunning, completely seamless, and fluid, as fast as your eyes can see. the fight scenes truely are immense, you will understand exactly what im saying when you see bohemet appear and the resulting scene will be the the standard by which everyone will be following for many years to come. My advice, get some tissues when watching this film as your eyes will either a) fall out of your head or b) you will actually cry blood, either way, you will still be glad to have seen it. peace

Fresh from the developers

well, i will say i was slightly surprised to see, as i was browsing through the internet, some new, and quite interesting software for the PSP. ok, its unfortunate for all the hackers and crackers out there, but im sure your time will come around, but for the rest of us who have resigned to actually buying games and updating our PSP's, i have heard, from a few sources that we will be the proud owners of a spanking new e-mail client..... with GPS software on its way!! if your not already convulsing, start now! Peace

It will be so good, my eyes will bleed

Ok, for everyone who owns a PSP or for everyone who loves anime cartoons, and even better if you have both, it has been revealed to me that the dragonball z series is coming to the PSP! For the ignorant among us "Dragonball z" is nothing but pure carnage, and has been formed into many diverse computer games, originating on the nintendo systems and resurrected for our pleasure on the playstation "one" and "two" and now on the PSP in the for of "Dragonball z: shin budokai" the speed and depth of the dragonball z games has been noted before and we are hoping for more of the same, just imagine, four player battle, with the speed of the previous games on the playstations, it will be something that will make you dribble! im praying for a quick release date! Peace

Evening Children

evening kids, just thought i'd follow my good collegues and bring you all up to date with the knowledge and goodness of todays technology, and anything else that happens to take my fancy, keep your eyes open for the first installment